~Day 11 of 30~

~Mike and I~

Today is an awesome day! I'm at work and chillin'. Had one call so far. Did 'Fill The Boot' this afternoon for MDA. Read some scriptures in the Bible =). Went for the Relay For Life Cancer walk in Surprise and walked in honor of those affected by cancer. Now, I shall make my bed and go to sleep! Can't wait to hear about 'Loving Deeper' in our Live Like You Were Dying series at Palm Valley Church!

~Day 10 of 30~

I am feeling very GOOD today as I feel like I accomplished A LOT yesterday. I truly want to be freed from the pain and anger that I've harbored for the past 27 years. Now prayerfully God WILL continue to work in that relationship, and allow me to look forward and never look back.

"These tests have come to prove your faith and to show that it is good. Gold, which can be destroyed, is tested by fire. Your faith is worth much more than gold and it must be tested also. Then your faith will bring thanks and shining-greatness and honor to Jesus Christ when He comes again."

1 Peter 1:7

On another note, I have received 2 phone calls today...

• Confirmation of my volunteering inquiry and hopefully going thru orientation in May. (Praise God!)
• Spoke with someone at EMCCC about the nursing 'fast track' program. I am on the list for notifications of when I can take the 'bridge' class and further my education into the medical field. (Praise God!)

Day 10 has been AWESOME! PRAISE GOD!

Father, YOU are AMAZING! Thank you for allowing me to go through the hills and valleys that I have, and continue to learn so much about You and Your love for me. I know You will never forsake me for You have promised me You won't. Thank you for drawing me closer and reminding me to trust in You.

~Day 9 of 30~

I heard this song years ago. I heard it again today.

I will follow where you lead me...

God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
As it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
If I surrender to His Will;
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life
And supremely happy with Him
Forever and ever in the next.

Amen.

~Day 8 of 30~

I was at work again by 0710! Ha... Silly but hey, it's a goal! I'm on for 24 hours so in between calls I...

• I made some phone calls today and checked off some items on my ever growing list.
• I have some documents I am working on so that I can volunteer my time in working with others.
• My goal is to inspire others towards a relationship with Christ by my actions.
• I'm more aware of 'speaking sweeter' and have been able to stop myself from saying things I shouldn't.
• I'm working on NOT thinking things I shouldn't say in the first place. =)
• I spent more time out and about instead of reading in my room.
• I cooked dinner tonight... well, it was my cook night but we kept getting calls. Dinner was an effort by everyone but enjoyed "well done" since we had more and more calls. The ovens were shut off and the food continued to cook (since no one was at the station to watch it). The life in the fire service. =)

So, that wraps up today.

LIVE LIKE YOU WERE DYING!!!

~Day 7 of 30~

3 weeks and 2 days left...

Today was snagged quite a bit. I found myself thinking of things that I have no control over. Worrying about the future and what decisions I will make to affect it. I know why these things are happening... God is preparing me for great things. I can just know it. So, I have been pulled back to reality...

I kept thinking of Matthew 6:25-34 throughout the day...

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? "And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Wow... I've just been put in my place! God never fails... It is my 'little faith' that hinders Him from working as He would. He has great blessings for me if only I will yield to Him and live for the riches that lasts forever. If I put God's will and righteousness first in my life, He will take care of everything else.

Three words point the way to victory over worry:

• Faith~ Trusting God to meet our needs;
• Father~ Knowing He cares for His children;
• First~ Putting God's will first in our lives so that He might be glorified.

If we have faith in our Father and put Him first, He will meet our needs.

~You're Not Alone~

You're Not Alone

I search for love

When the night came and it closed in

I was alone but you found me where I was hiding and

now I'll never ever be the same

It was the sweetest voice that called my name saying

You're not alone for I am here

let me wipe away your every fear

My love I've never left your side

I have seen you through the darkest night

and I'm the one who's loved you all your life

All of your life

You cry yourself to sleep

cause the hurt is real and the pain cuts deep

All hope seems lost

With heartache your closest friend

and everyone else long gone

You've had to face the music on your own

but there is a sweeter song that calls you home saying

You're not alone for I am here

let me wipe away your every tear

My love I've never left your side

I have seen you through the darkest nights

And I'm the one who's loved you all your life

All your life

Faithful and true...

Forever For my love will carry you....

You're not alone for I... I am here

let me wipe away every fear...

Oh yeah My love I've never left your side

I have seen you through your darkest night

Your darkest night

And I'm the one who's loved you all your life

All of your life

~Day 6 of 30~

Wow! This little 30 day challenge is FLYING by!


I have compiled quite a list. I've started implimenting my "things to do" over the past 6 days and still have so much more to finish. I am neglectant to post it since I don't want to 'not complete' a goal but because it's a little bit of a fear... I'm gonna post them anyway. I'll get it all finished here shortly and post it.

Today I came home from work and took a little nap. I'm confident that wouldn't have been part of the plan for my 'countdown' but hey! girl's gotta get her sleep! I went about my day completing tasks around the house that I have been procrastinatinating doing. It took the better part of my day to do.... and that was just the downstairs!

I have found my attitude is changing a lot. I have a different mind set and it forces me to see life in a different light. It's refreshing. I still have so much more to do tho.

Keepin' on!

~Day 5 of 30~

I am at work today... It has been a good start. It is Sunday which is usually a 'down day'. We ended up running a few calls but overall it was a great day!

I have really been doing some internal searching since Pastor Greg initiated the 30 day challenge. There have been many things laid upon my heart of things that I need to do. I have so many more people added to my list to talk to. It's amazing to reflect on all the relationships you've had, thinking you will never be able to make right all of your past wrongs (living like you were dying).

So, my list grows!

I have been real good at MAKING TIME for Bible study, still struggling on the SOAP'in but I'm coming along.

Here's to LIVING LIKE YOU WERE DYING!!!

~Day 4 of 30~

As I am progressing into my 30 day challenge, I find myself waking every day, trying to think of more things that I need to accomplish. It has been quite fun and exciting to live like I had 30 days left.

Again, I had some snags earlier today. I found myself reading into things that weren't there and causing some problems with Josh and I. It was very simple and I went off to never-never land and ended up feeling hurt, which totally wasn't needed. I kept thinking that I don't know why I'm feeling 'that' way but in retrospect, I know exactly why! I'm getting de-railed! Good thing is I'm catching on to it!

I made it to the gym and did the stair climber, it's not my favorite thing to do which is why I do it... Wandered around and decided to stretch and call it a day. (I know, LAZY!)

I had a birthday party to go to and I was out looking for a shirt to buy (since I couldn't think of a single shirt to wear out of my 4 closets full of clothes ;-) ), and I ended up saving the money because I didn't like a single thing I put on! I'm at a stage where I need to work out more and don't wanna buy anything since HOPEFULLY I won't fit it anyway!

Josh and I went to PVC for service. It was awesome! It was all about 'Speaing Sweeter" in the context of 'Living Like You Were Dying'. It is true, words are very powerful and I need to be more mindful of what comes out of my mouth. I used to speak without thinking and my mom would say to me that "Once you throw the ball, you can't go and catch it." I never understood that completely until I grew a bit older. Now I'm better, but I still 'jab' if you will, when I want to 'make it hurt' without too much coming out of my mouth. I do have a sarcastic side and realize this too is not how I should be speaking.

"Don't use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them." Ephesians 4:29

Even though my words may not be foul or abusive, they can still be offensive. It is my desire to learn to control my tongue and truly get rid of the desire to say things I know I shouldn't because,

"For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks." Matthew 12:34

Awesome...

~S~
Deliver me from my enemies, O God; protect me from those who rise up against me. Deliver me from evildoers and save me from bloodthirsty men. See how they lie in wait for me! Fierce men conspire against me for no offense or sin of mine, O LORD. I have done no wrong, yet they are ready to attack me. Arise to help me; look on my plight! O LORD God Almighty, the God of Israel, rouse yourself to punish all the nations; show no mercy to wicked traitors. Psalm 59:1-5

~O~
David was a man who did God's work, and gave all the glory to God. Saul on the other hand was a wicked man and couldn't stand anyone else getting credit for anything. Even things he didn't do, he wanted to be known for! Saul had decided he wanted his son-in-law killed out of pure fear, hatred and jealousy. David fled to safety and this Psalm was written as David watched Saul's men looking for him.

~A~
It's amazing to see how having true FAITH in God will allow us to see His amazing works! God knows our hearts and fears. He knows when we are guilty and when we aren't. He goes before us in every battle and knows the outcome. He knows what our enemies are doing and saying. He is our Protector. Our Provider. We just need to ask and believe in Him, to allow Him to go before us and prepare the way to victory.

~P~
Father, it is my prayer that when You deliver me from the Goliath situations of life, I remember to be thankful to You. Your works are NOT my works and I don't want to take credit for them. Help me to remember that you are always there for me, that I am not alone when I sometimes feel like it. I know you're there! You haven't forgotten about me.
Thank you for loving me.

~Day 3 of 30~

Alright... Day 3 comes to an end! It was a great day!

• I met up with a girlfriend for lunch.
• Had a much needed massage from Ms. Nancy.
• Met a real nice lady in the grocery line while I helped her with her items.
• Made some phone calls to find a place to volunteer my time in the near future.
• Cleaned up the house a little looking for misplaced keys... *grr*
• Made dinner. (YUM!)
• Cleaned the kitchen.
• Did my Bible study!
• SOAP'd! (even tho I couldn't get my mind to work real well! ;-) )
• Did I say I had a GREAT massage?

Now, Lord willing I have more than 30 days to live... make that 27, so part of my motivation is to better myself in the long run too. So, here are the things that I can check off of my list for today...

• Make time for God by praying, reading and SOAP'in!
• Make time for family/friends.
• Be better organized.
• Volunteer my time with an organization.
• Show God's love to perfect strangers!

This is actually quite fun!

On to day 4!!!

~Day 2 of 30~

WOW! Is it REALLY just day 2?!?!

I started off at work SUPER early today! Only, that's because I was already here... *wink*

I have a new partner and have taken full advantage of letting the "new guy" do the work and "learn the ropes" but since he's doing so good, I just kept on charting all of the 9-1-1 calls we had for the day, and gave him a much needed break. Good thing he's my cousin (just kiddin')!

Anyway, I got my Bible study done early. Didn't SOAP right away. Ate a healthy lunch then off to the gym I went. It was then that my day hit some snags. Ended up in a few meetings and received some news I wasn't wanting to hear. I immediately became quite emotional for the better part of my day. I was overwhelmed with feelings and thoughts that took me right off track. It wasn't very far off... I was praying the whole time I was going thru this but HOLY COW is that devil chomping at my heels wanting to see me fail! I've got some news for that little bugger... Guess what? GOD IS IN CONTROL!

There is nothing that happened today that wasn't already in the plans!

So, now that I've got my shirt back on straight and the dust shook off, I'm ready!

Praise God for the continued lessons in Faith, Strength and TRUST in Him!

~Psalm 18:2 The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower.

~Who Do You Fight For?~

~S~

"A champion named Goliath, who was from Gath, came out of the Philistine camp. He was over 9 feet tall. He had a bronze helmet on his head and wore a coat of scale armor of bronze weighing five thousand shekels, on his legs he wore bronze greaves, and a bronze javelin was slung on his back. His spear shaft was like a weaver's rod, and it's iron point weighed six hundred shekels. His shield bearer went ahead of him." 1 Samuel 17:4-7

~O~

So here is Saul's army being heckled by Goliath for 40 straight days and nights for someone to come out and fight to their death. Anyone who was willing, he wanted to fight him to see who's people were going to be serving who in the end. King Saul who was the tallest man in his entire army and the only one worth going against Goliath, but he was just as scared as his soldiers. He began to proposition them with great wealth among other things for whomever would try to fight Goliath. Of course David happened to have been there just as Goliath came out that last morning. David, knowing God had been with him twice before, was unafraid and ready to go against Goliath because he defied the armies of the living God. Since he was just a teenager, King Saul told him he couldn't do it. David plead his case and King Saul helped him into his armor.

I can see David now... A young teenage boy in a man's armor headed to fight Goliath. Crazy thing is, he refused the armor because he couldn't move around in it! So, showing up with his staff in his hand and 5 smooth rocks in his pouch with his sling in his other hand he approached the Philistine. Goliath took a look at him, laughed and told him how he would kill him.

David replied to him, "You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. This day the Lord will hand you over to me, and I'll strike you down and cut off your head. Today I will give the carcasses of the Philistine army to the birds of the air and the beasts of the earth, and the whole world will know that there is a God in Israel. All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the Lord saves, for the battle is the Lord's and he will give all of you into our hands."

~A~

I can't help but love this story because it is true even today. Goliath for me hasn't been some ginormous person with heavy armor that would squish me like a bug if it touched me. It isn't necessarily something that is living and breathing like it was for David. Goliath for me is certain relationships. Fears. Battles. Mountains. Just as David was inquiring about this fight, his brothers and King Saul tried to convince Goliath was much bigger than him. He wasn't a soldier, he was just a boy. Sometimes taking a stand for what is right, what you believe in isn't always the popular choice. People mock you and make fun of you. The great thing is when you're led by God, there is NOTHING you can't accomplish. Life's trials are there for reasons. To build our faith in Him. I see myself as hard headed.... I have needed EVERY trial in my life to be brought back to God's hands. I have learned that I am nothing without God in my life and I need to stop intervening with my thoughts and desires and opinion. God knows what's best for me. I just have to follow.

~P~

Lord, when I begin to face trials in my life, I pray that I remain focused on you. That I don't see what others see, to become afraid and fall short of Your glory. No matter what type of Goliath I encounter, they are nothing to You, for You are bigger than them. Help me to remember when I seem to lose focus, and bring me back to you. In Your name I pray, AMEN.

~Day 1 of 30~

Well, today got off to a slow start. It was still difficult to get outta bed... I dislike my alarm clock at times, but I gathered all my things and out the door I went. I stopped by Starbucks and purchased my *Venti Sugar Free Vanilla Soy Chai* (LOVE IT!) and over the tracks I went. Right in to Sun City West for my overtime shift.

The very first goal for my 30 day challenge that I was able to meet was that I was at work no later than 07:15. Now shift change is at 08:00. About a year ago I got in the rut of showing up no earlier than 07:50. Some people would say I wasn't late and during that time, I agree. In the fire service when someone has to pick up a oh... let's say 07:45 call, I'm not there to take it. They end up off shift at 09:00. Kinda jerkish. Well, I'm well on my way to get back into my 07:00 routine! I'm sure the person I relieve would appreciate my promptness... as well as ME!

It's the little things, right?!

So far the day has been uneventful at work. I have been able to ponder more of the things I want to accomplish and the things I need to do in the next 30 days. I have a list that is growing by the hour!

In a way, it is fun and exciting. In other ways, I dread some conversations hoping they don't go wrong. I mean, honestly; what do you say to someone whom you haven't spoke to in years? What do you say to someone who isn't willing to hear your hurts, the ramifications of their actions because it hurts them, but you NEED to say them? Not that you're hashing the past or saying things you shouldn't... just being able to get out why you've closed off and built those impossible walls for them to climb. How do you truly forgive? Why is it that you think you've forgiven someone but you still hurt? Are we able to truly forget?

Anyway, it's almost 3pm and I still have to make it over to the gym and do my Bible study. The biggest thing is to S.O.A.P. when I'm finished... which is also part of my goal.

~30 Day Challenge~

I am involved in a great church. Our pastor and many other people inspire us to be better followers of our Savior Jesus Christ, and truly live as we are called to as christians. To be more responsible for our personal walk, other than depending on someone or something to fulfil that void.

We have been reading thru the Bible on a daily basis as a church body for almost a year and a half. It has truly transformed my relationship with God, my family and friends and has launched me into a deeper understanding of living this life without Him, doing things on my own... it's not going to work!

This past Easter Sunday, Pastor Greg started a new series called Live Like You Were Dying and asked us some questions that have been laying heavy on my heart since. "If the doctor told you, 'You have 30 days to live,' what would you do?" "Who would you forgive?" "What will you go do?" "What will be your legacy?" Of course during his wrap up, he asked us what we were waiting for since

"tomorrow isn't promised."

I have decided to take this 30 day challenge and see what it does for me spiritually, emotionally, physically and mentally. Truly, to take care of unfinished business in my life HAS to lighten the load on these shoulders of mine! I already know many areas that need some work... Family life. Friends I haven't spoke to. My work relationships. In general, I have my work cut out for me and I feel that documenting my progress will keep me in 'check' and keep me going.

So, here's to the next 30 days... and the rest of my life.

Ephesians 5:8-14 "For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord. Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. For it is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. But everything exposed by the light becomes visible, for it is light that makes everything visible. This is why it is said: "Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you."

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