Today, God took Kim to be with Him in heaven.

Rest in peace, Kim. You will be missed.



www.kimfightscancer.blogspot.com

~Coming out of the dark~

I have been struggling spiritually during the last 9 months, causing me to fall further from Christ; which is ultimately against my aspirations of becoming a stronger Christian and warrior of His. I am quite discouraged. Disappointed in myself. I went back to my home team Wednesday and was encouraged to write this out. I am not only afraid to open up my feelings about my struggles, but to see myself so weak when I thought I was strong. I am however excited to some day look back and see where I've come from. To learn from my mistakes and shortfalls and maybe be encouraged.

So, today is Sunday, August 23rd, 2009. I am on shift but am able to sit down and read about God. In the back of my Max Lucado Bible is a portion called, "Where to turn when" and I selected, "when you have lost hope". I'm not quite sure how I feel about losing hope because I feel that I haven't lost it... I have grown tired in my circumstances. I have been told I have lost hope. I wanted to hear what the scriptures have for me to read.

The first scripture listed in Romans 8:28. It reads

"We know that in everything God works
for the good of those who love Him. They are the people He called, because that was His plan"

I jumped over to my NIV Life Application Study Bible to read more about the verse. It says,

"God works in "all things" - not just isolated incidents- for our good. This
does not mean that all that happens to us is good. Note that God is not working
to make us happy, but to fulfill his purpose. Note also that this promise is not
for everybody. It can be claimed only by those who love God and are called
according to His purpose. Those who are "called" are those the Holy Spirit
convinces and enables to receive Christ. Such people have a new perspective, a
new mind-set on life. They trust in God, not life's treasures; they look for
their security in heaven, not on earth; they learn to accept, not resent, pain
and persecution because God is with them".

I'm feeling upset at myself right about now. I haven't read in quite a while and feel like all I needed to do was stop feeling sorry for myself and READ what God has to say to me, instead of feeling overwhelmed when it wasn't my job to control anything in the first place! I also have a Bible Commentary from Warren W. Wiersbe, which is FANTASTIC to read I must add! I wanted to read what it said about this scripture too.

"The believer never need faint in times of suffering and trial because he
knows that God is at work in the world, and that He has a perfect plan. God has
2 purposes in that plan: our good and His glory. Ultimately, He will make us
like Jesus Christ! Best of all, God's plan is going to succeed!"

Wow! I have just been 'God smacked'! I have spent so much time wondering what is going to happen, worrying about the changes, crying over what is 'lost', and worrying about what other people think of me and not focusing on all there is to gain. This was NEVER about me. It is ALL about God's plans!

Here's another verse it led me to read. Lamentations 3:21-22

"But I have hope when I think of this: The Lord's
love never ends; His mercies never stop."

My study Bible says,

"Jeremiah saw one ray of hope in all the sin and sorrow surrounding
him: "Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his
compassions never fail." God willingly responds with help when we ask. Perhaps
there is some sin in your life that you thought God would not forgive. God's
steadfast love and mercy are greater than any sin, and He promises forgiveness."

The best part was the commentary of the verse and following verses that I want to remember,

"Jeremiah turned from contemplating his misery to remembering God's mercy.
He still experienced pain and sorrow, but he also called to mind the
faithfulness of the Lord, and this gave him hope. -The realization of God's
mercy, compassion and faithfulness generated hope in Jeremiah's soul, and his
contemplation of trouble became a confession of faith. Because the Lord loves
us, He chastens us (Heb. 12:5-11), but he doesn't consume us; He disciplines us
but He doesn't destroy. Unbelief causes us to look at God through our
circumstances, and this creates hopelessness; but faith enables us to look at
our circumstances through the reality of God, and this gives us hope.

Look at yourself and you'll be depressed.
Look at circumstances and you'll be distressed.
Look at the Lord and you'll be blessed!

If the Lord is "our portion" (Ps. 7 3:26; 142:5), then we are strengthened
by that which cannot be used up or destroyed. God is our eternal source of
strength, hope and blessing (Ps. 46:1). Our circumstances change, and so do our
feelings about them, but God is always good, loving, merciful, and kind, and He
never changes. "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and
forever" (Heb. 13:8). To build life on that which is always
changing is to invite constant unrest and disappointment, but to build on the
changeless and the eternal is to have peace and confidence.

As Jeremiah contemplated the character of God, he realized that the best
thing he and his people could do was to wait patiently and silently for the Lord
to work and accomplish His will in His time (vv. 25-28). God is gracious,
God is great in faithfulness, and God is good - no matter how we feel or what we
see. But it isn't enough to just sit and wait; we must also seek the Lord
and draw closer to Him (vv. 25, 40). As for the children and youths who
were suffering, even they could learn from this experience and grow up to be
strong men and women (v. 27). Jeremiah was now an old man, but he had
suffered in his youth, so he knew what he was talking about (Jer. 1:8, 17-19;
15-10, 15-17). His youthful experiences of trial and opposition helped to
prepare him for his present ministry.

The secret of victory in tough times is simply to submit to the Lord and
accept the fact that "the Lord has laid it on him" (v. 28). "It is the
Lord. Let Him do what seems good to Him" (1 Sam. 3:18). We must bow before
the Lord - even putting our faces in the dust - and submit to Him without
complaining, knowing that in His time, He will see us through. In that
hour of pain and perplexity, Jeremiah laid hold of some wonderful assurances
that can encourage us today:

• The Lord doesn't cast off His people and forget them (v. 31).
• In the midst of pain, we know He loves us (v. 32).
• God doesn't enjoy chastening His own and He feels our pain (v. 33).
• God sees the way people treat us (vv. 34-36).
• God is on the throne and in control of all events (vv. 37-38).
• If He chastens us for our sins, we shouldn't complain, for even His
  chastening is evidence of His love (v. 39)

We must live a day at a time and each morning draw upon a new supply of God's
mercy. No matter what the Enemy says to us, we must remind ourselves that "the
Lord is good" and He is never closer to us than when He chastens us."

I am quite excited to continue reading His word as it fills me with great confidence that I am still doing the right thing. But NOT WITHOUT HIM because it is IMPOSSIBLE and LONELY to roam in depression and fear... which is not of Him. I was held captive but am being set FREE!