We have family coming to stay with us in just a few weeks so I thought I'd get an early start on cleaning the house. All week long on Air1, I had heard some of Matthew West's new songs because of the upcoming release of his album. This morning I was getting my iTunes account updated and ready to play so I could clean the house, which makes cleaning easier and fun, and I downloaded Kings of Leon and Matthew West's newest albums and started about my day of cleaning.
I sometimes get lost in thought and don't listen to what's going on outside of my mind but the song "Broken Girl" was playing and caught my attention. I'm not quite sure exactly what part of the song was on but I walked to my computer and backed it up. As I listened to it play I couldn't process what I was hearing very well because I was launched back to being 7 years old, in my bedroom of our Hawaii home, reliving what was being sung through the speakers.
Even though it's been 25 years, it's still a HORRIBLE memory and I wish it would just go away... but it refuses.
To make things worse, my best friend who was my father, was gone by the time I turned 4 years old. My parents divorced and I never saw, or heard from him until Thanksgiving of 2002 when I called for him. I look back on my life and the many things I went through. How angry of a child I was. How much I closed myself off to anyone. My mom had me in counselling more often than I can remember as a child and I've ping-ponged as a young adult to try and iron out my issues. I get to a certain part and just 'stuff it' so I don't have to talk about it any longer.
I've lived behind so many issues during my life and only recently have I shared some of my deepest, darkest secrets. Crazy thing is, it helps. Not only does it help me, but hearing other peoples struggles in life has helped me out immensely. I'm not alone in this world. I'm not alone in despair.
If I accomplish one thing by documenting these memories, and it being that I've shown others that there is life beyond some of the most horrific times, then so be it.
God's given me a story... and I'm going to tell it.
I've lived behind so many issues during my life and only recently have I shared some of my deepest, darkest secrets. Crazy thing is, it helps. Not only does it help me, but hearing other peoples struggles in life has helped me out immensely. I'm not alone in this world. I'm not alone in despair.
If I accomplish one thing by documenting these memories, and it being that I've shown others that there is life beyond some of the most horrific times, then so be it.
God's given me a story... and I'm going to tell it.
