Saturday, December 31, 2011

~The Ending Of An Era And The Turning Of A Page~


It's humbling to look back on this year and everything it means to me personally and professionally.  It is a year that encapsulates love lost, financial difficulties, friendships that were damaged by decisions that I made, changing of professions, diving back into school to better my future, family moving away, building new relationships, repairing old ones, building stronger connections with others, but still, we made it through.

I have so many regrets this past year. If only I had made a better decision regarding 'this' or I wish I had thought 'that' out a little better or I wish I could go back and change the outcome of 'that' situation.  Here's some very valuable lessons I've learned over the years,  Everything happens for a reason, I can't control anyone but myself, my happiness lies within me and I'm the only one that can control it.  I believe that life is truly what  I make of it. It doesn't matter what I go through that makes me who I am, but how I get through it that really matters.

I saw this picture on facebook last week and it holds within it such a profound statement of my feelings for this year. I almost can't wait to wash 2011 away and work past the hurt and damage it left behind, yet embrace all it has meant regarding change, growth and perserverence to push through regardless of the outcomes.  I have become a stronger, more level headed and thoughtful person because of the lessons it has taught me. I have made plans to work through some of the mistakes I made so that I may never make the same ones again.

I can't help but think about Ecclesiastes 3 and how it talks about the many seasons of our lives, and believing that this too, is just a season.  Each day is a new day.  It doesn't have to start with a new year.  That is what I will focus more on in the very near future. It just so happens to be 2012 starting in 2 hours and 6 minutes.  =)

So, that is my ramble for the night. My thoughts for the ending of 2011.  May God bless you and keep you close. May he reveal himself through our difficulties and allow us to grow from our mistakes and failures. May we learn to count our blessings before we name our troubles.  Here's to a new day... along with a new year to boot.  =)


Ecclesiastes 3

A Time for Everything
1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:
2 a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6 a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.
9 What do workers gain from their toil? 10 I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. 12 I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. 13 That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God. 14 I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that people will fear him.
15 Whatever is has already been, and what will be has been before;
and God will call the past to account.  And I saw something else under the sun:
In the place of judgment—wickedness was there, in the place of justice—wickedness was there.
17 I said to myself, God will bring into judgment both the righteous and the wicked,
for there will be a time for every activity, a time to judge every deed.”
18 I also said to myself, “As for humans, God tests them so that they may see that they are like the animals. 19 Surely the fate of human beings is like that of the animals; the same fate awaits them both: As one dies, so dies the other. All have the same breath; humans have no advantage over animals. Everything is meaningless. 20 All go to the same place; all come from dust, and to dust all return. 21 Who knows if the human spirit rises upward and if the spirit of the animal goes down into the earth?”
22 So I saw that there is nothing better for a person than to enjoy their work, because that is their lot. For who can bring them to see what will happen after them?





Sunday, December 25, 2011

~The Waiting Game~

I swear, waiting is the hardest part about trying to have a family.  I've become the woman who charts, adds, subtracts, and divides the days, pays attention to my every body change to the point that I'm obsessed with getting pregnant.  This month, I purchased an ovulation kit and found that my body was showing me it was ready when I in fact wasn't.  My ovulation is almost a week and a half off.  Really?!  No wonder why I've had 3 missed pregnancies...

So... tomorrow is the day the ole "relative" is supposed to come pay a visit...

I hope she misses her flight.

Don't worry, I won't hold it against you.

But, if you do...