An American Tail-Somewhere Out There

I used to stand at my bedroom window and stare out at the stars singing this song, wondering if my father was doing the same. I believed he was...

~Part 3: To Move Or Not To Move, That Is The Question~

I worked as the paramedic on an ambulance out of a busy fire station.  My 'home' fire station was in an area where there were multiple units of apartment style living, assisted living and care home facilities along with condominiums and regular housing, which in my opinion equaled to about half of the population of the fire district.  Our particular station was responsible for these facilities and homes, which was also called our 'first due' area.  We were well into the winter season where a lot of retiree's retreat from the snow to the sun.  All of these factors helped my partner, who I'll call Sam, come to the decision that he and I should put in for the 2 ambulance openings at what was called, the 'Vacation Station'.  There, the crews ran less than half of the calls we were accustomed to. 

For a moment, I thought it was a good idea.  I had spent my first year at one fire station and the next 5 at the fire station we were currently assigned to.  It was time for a break.  The 2 open positions were to be posted for one week and the spots would be filled based off of seniority.  By the time I really thought it out, I realized it was not a good idea because there was someone on the receiving crew that I didn't want to work with on an every day basis.  I spent the next 2 weeks trying to change Sam's mind by bringing up anything positive about our station.  I brought up the fact we had a newly renovated station, all new gym equipment, a decent crew and many other things.  Every time we spoke about it he told me to stop being crazy and put in for the position before it was closed.  We were a good crew, he and I.  We were put together over a year prior so we wanted to stay together.  We were a packaged deal.  We go together.

What Sam had no idea about was a 3 year history that I never spoke about.  In fact, there were only 2 people who knew anything that happened during that time.  My partner and my Captain at the time.

I have spent a total of 15 years in and around the fire service.  I've had many great people place me under their wings and teach me how to excel at what had become a real passion, taking care of people in an emergency situation.  The fire service is a male dominating field.  I had learned what it takes to survive and I knew what happened to people who spoke up about what I was mum about.  It wasn't a gamble I was willing to take.  So, I just stayed quiet... Until the crossroad.