At a Loss for Words

 Today is another lab draw day.  

Last night, after digesting the news of the low numbers, I decided to look up stories of other women who had 'slow to rise' HCG levels.  I am incredibly encouraged to find MANY!  Women who said that their numbers didn't jump until the 9th week of pregnancy, who hadn't had a fetal sac or a fetus seen on ultrasound at 8 weeks, or who had been told they're miscarrying only to find out that they were in fact carrying a healthy baby!  I was searching for anything to remain positive and not get into the mindset that all is doom and gloom.  I am cautiously optimistic heading into work and having my labs drawn.  Here's to a MAJOR jump!

My labs are complete and Josh has popped in on me at the hospital to see if I had any news.  I hadn't heard at that point so I gave him my cell phone to hold onto and told him to call me at the desk when Dr. Shaw called it.  Of course, I was at the bedside of a patient when she called!

I spoke with the Dr. and it wasn't good news, at all.  She told me that my numbers had dropped to 519.  That's almost a 150 point drop in the HCG level and at that point is incompatible with a healthy pregnancy.  I am absolutely crushed.  I wanted to fall into a puddle right there in the Emergency Room waiting area.  I had to send Josh home alone, which was heart breaking as well.  I tried to refocus my attention on my job but failed miserably.  I just don't even know what to do right now...