~The Nudge~

As I went through one of the toughest seasons of my life, one thing remained certain.  It was the fact that God knew what I was going through.  He already had it in his perfect plans for me to experience what I was to experience and in the manner that I did.  He wanted me to learn what it meant to lean on Him completely, even when I didn't know how to.  Even when I doubted.

At times, I felt completely alone.  I wasn't.

Not only was He there guiding me every step of the way, he placed people, songs, scriptures, conversations, bible studies and other random 'messages' to play for me.  Some of the messages were more subtle while others were like the proverbial 4x4 wooden plank being placed just perfectly across my backside giving me a distinct HOP in my step (if you know me at all, you know how stubborn and sometimes dense I can be!).  The important thing here is that I GOT IT.  I heard Him.  I listened to Him.  I learned to SEEK His will for my life.  One of the ways I learned was by reading random blogs and posts on the internet that were incredibly profound from other hurting and lost people, and I wanted to make sure that when I had the honor to give back, and when the timing was right, I would do it.  I believed that God wouldn't waste my pain.  I just didn't know when He wanted me to tell my story.  Afterall, it's HIS story.

I attended my church's kick off event of the women's bible studies for the fall, which was also a Women Of Faith simulcast with Sheila Walsh and Lisa Harper.  I also spoke with a dear friend beforehand.  This friend and I are more like a kindred spirit.  I've known her since high school and looked up to her.  We inadvertently walked through the pits together but separately.  We talked about how when going through the pit of failure, looking at yourself and feeling incredibly shameful in them, and then looking back, being transparent when sharing our stories to help others, how God in turn uses our dirty, beat up and rugged selves and turns our stories into something more beautiful than anyone could have ever imagined.   Sitting in the simulcast, It was said that "brokenness is a blessing.  It is intended to transform us, remind us who our enemy is, and remind us who our Amazing God IS"!  I felt it.  I felt the lesson but more importantly, I felt the nudge.  The same nudge that I have become acutely aware of over the years.  I believe in God's timing and I know that when He wanted to use me and my story, He would let me know.

It's time.

It's time to let you all in on some of the lessons that I learned, how I learned them and why they are so important to me in who I am today.  The things that I post on my social media websites are there for a reason.  My life is NOTHING without Jesus and I'm here to tell you just how REAL He is to me and why I will stop at nothing to help others when there is NO ONE but you and Jesus and the wild world of the internet.  My life was saved by the few who stood by me and the ways God was able to communicate to me.

My exit from the fire service was not exactly as I told people it was and I worked hard to give people an explanation without actually saying why I really left.  It is here that my story picks up and where I have left it for years.  It was during this time that I was at my lowest of lows, where I saw suicide as an option.  Luckily for me, it was just a thought.  Nothing more.  I will share my story because it's time.

~New(er) Technologies~

Going to school and juggling studies in multiple different places with flash drives, email, and other means of saving my research and information to continue to work on later, proved to be a frustrating and difficult means of production.

I toted my (huge) laptop around in a (huge) rolling briefcase type roller bag that ended up being cumbersome at best, in order to keep up with my homework and research papers and the like.

I broke down and bought an iPad, but I did it in a really cool and convenient way.

Scottsdale Healthcare has a program that after being employed for a year, based on your gross pay, you can purchase items through them without interest and pay for it through payroll deduction over a year. It proved to be an option that we felt we could handle so we did it.  I have to say, it's been one of the best purchases, ever.

Yesterday Josh let me go find a keyboard/case so that I can type (I'm WAY faster at typing than the 'hunt and peck' method) and it's been the second best purchase, ever.  I'm currently in Apple heaven.

This begs a propositional question, I'm up for an renewal of my phone. iPhone or Samsung III... that is the question.

What are your thoughts?


 

~Summer School~

Most of you have heard me stressing out or posting random blurbs during my summer school adventure and I wanted to kind of explain myself a little... maybe you would understand why I am so STINKIN' HAPPY that I survived!!

About my summer school adventure...

I have never taken summer school before. Ever.  Being a newbie, I scheduled a normal load of classes, in the shorter amount of time, without even considering any other reasons why it wouldn't be a good idea.  I thought it was what I should do and wanted to take full advantage of moving my schedule around and having Monday through Thursday off to do it all.  I took a math class (for 5 weeks), anatomy and physiology (for 8 weeks) and a pharmacology class (for 8 weeks).  When I started, it seemed doable... until my biology class took ALL of my time to do.  I was so frustrated with myself because my other 2 classes were on the back burner, and all I could do is stay in the game.  I did ok in my math, not as good as I could have, and my pharmacology mid term was a whopping 66%.  Thankfully I had like a 99.6% going into the mid-term. 

After the first 5 weeks, my math class finished and my chemistry class started (another 5 week class).  I found that while trying to juggle a new class and facing finals in my 2 other classes, all I could focus on was staying above the grade in bio and worry about chemistry later.  I considered dropping it but decided that I wasn't a failure and that to me was taking the easy way out. Then my first chem test score was a 68%!!  Unfortunately, at this point, I could no longer drop the class without paying for it as well.  I had no time to study anything other than my biology and certainly had no time for the chemistry class. 


Today is a good day!  I just received my biology final grade and was pleasantly surprised that I maintained my grade.  Well, I struggled at first and brought it up but thankfully, it didn't drop any further after the middle of the semester.

I'm happy to say that all in all, my math, pharmacology, and A&P classes all have B's, and I'm currently at an A in chemistry!

Hard work and perseverance (as well as an incredibly supportive husband and family) REALLY pays off!!
  
Note to self: Never, ever, ever, EVER take summer classes like that, AGAIN!!

~Yeah BABY!~

Today is day 5 and I'm still going STRONG!  Especially since I bought the juicer yesterday.  I know it's not technically the right one but going from blending / straining to oxidized juicing.  Nonetheless, I'm pretty stoked! 

Last night I made the Green Juice from the documentary FS&ND and I think I messed it up.  I read somewhere that the skin has a ton of vitamins and nutrients and it's ok to juice the lemon whole but SOMETHING, maybe the kale or the lemon, made the juice bitter as heck that I had goose bumps while drinking every time.  I like lemons but maybe not as much as I thought I did.  I don't think I'll do the whole lemon next time since it only calls for 1/2 of one in the first place.

This morning I made a juice that required ginger, pineapple and watermelon.  It's SO GOOD!!  I seriously think I could do this juicing thing for a long time!  What better way to clean out and detox my body, re-start my palate, get healthier AND lose a few pounds while I'm at it?!  I can't think of a better way than juicing.  All thanks to Joe Cross, of course!   Now I just need to find out where working out comes in for me.  I'm getting used to the juicing and feeling stronger everyday.  I mean, it doesn't make you weak, it's getting used to juicing instead of over eating that makes you feel super weak initially.  I'm thinking it's going to happen within the next few days.  So excited to take this journey!  I feel great and can't wait to LOOK great!  

~This Is JUICY!~

I did it.  I broke down and bought a juicer...  Shhhh! Don't tell the Husband!  I've done a ton of research online about juicing and what juicers people are using, and all of the juicers I found had a price tag of $300-$450!!  So what I was trying to do instead was blending.  I would strain out the juice in a strainer then put a bowl the same size and squeeze all that I could out before discarding the pulp.  I wasn't comfortable with the discard.  There was still SO MUCH and even juicy but I couldn't for the life of me get more juice.  At one point I saved the pulp to re-blend and get more nutrients out but all it gave me was the extra water I used to try and blend it in the first place.  Throwing out the discard to me was throwing out nutrients, money I used to buy the veggies and MORE money because of the amount I had to use just to get the juice!  It wasn't working for me.

So... I purchased a Jack LaLanne Power Juicer that I found at Kohl's for $150. The best part? I went to Costco for more veggies and fruits but found the SAME juicer for $80!! I promptly turned around and returned the Kohl's one that I had purchased an hour before and went back and bought the Costco one.  SO worth it!!!  I got it home and before I put all of the veggies and stuff away, I made a drink.  I put an orange, strawberries and an apple and it extracted this ENTIRE glass full of YUMMY JUICE!!  I'm SO happy I have the juicer!  I would have used WAY more fruit to get that glass full by blending!

As far as my progress, today is day 4+ and I can't even begin to tell you all of the fantastic reasons why YOU should juice!!  I am feeling GREAT! and can't imagine stopping any time soon!  My skin looks great, my appetite is better and my headaches are GONE!  I still haven't eaten since lunch 4 days ago, well... except for the banana I had that night.  No sugar.  No caffiene.  No nuthin'!  Although, I gotta tell you... My brain has been playing dirty tricks on me!  The other day while sitting in the living room, I would have SWORN someone was baking fresh bread in the kitchen.  NEVER has there been bread baking in this house!  Yesterday morning I woke up and cuddled with Max.  HE smelled like a cheezy dorito!  Max hasn't had a bath since Thanksgiving and let me tell you... He DOESN'T smell like a dorito!