Tuesday, March 22, 2011

~Secret Squirrel~



Some of you may know there was some super secret squirrel stuff going on 2 weeks ago.  Well, now is the time to share. 

February 8, 2010 was my last shift as a full-time paramedic in Sun City West.  There were 2 different reasons that I told people why I left and depending on how well you knew me, you heard one or the other. 

1.  I am leaving my job because I am getting married and Josh and I decided that the fire service did not need both of us  (or)  2.  I am leaving SCW because I personally can't handle the changes that just happened, nor did I need to. 

After working in the fire service for 15 years, I learned what it took to survive.  I learned that I had to choose my battles and choose them wisely.  I learned that you have to do whatever you can to avoid getting the proverbial bulls eye on your back... no matter what.  For me, it was keeping my mouth shut about some things that happened to me, which came up over 2 years after the incidents stopped.  Now, one of these days I will be able to talk about it on my blog without having mini anxiety issues over it but I have dabbled here, here, and here to tell my story (It's not because I feel like MY side needs to be told. It's because I've gained so much strength to face my difficulties from other people sharing their stories, I'm positive that God will use my story to help others).

In January, 2010, I had a dream that I began working with my cousin at the Law Office that she manages and sure enough, about 2 weeks later she called me asking me if it was something I thought I would be interested in.  My first thought was, "Are you kidding me, God?"  You see, I had gone through one trial after another.  I had become very aware of His presence in my life so I KNEW this was a God moment.  I hesitantly called Josh and told him about the offer and surprisingly he told me to go for it.  Now, I am stubborn.  Sometimes more stubborn than my own good.  I absolutely wasn't ready to leave the fire service.  I worked so hard to have what I did.  The fire service was my passion... well, at that point, it used to be.  I was spent.  I was broken.  I could hardly get myself ready for work anymore.  Leaving SCW was something I knew that I HAD to do.  For me...  For Josh and I.

I drafted my 2 weeks notice and the next day I gave it to my Battalion Chief.  I sat across from him with rivers of tears flowing from my eyes while he read every word.  He initially told me that he would not accept it but I told him it was a done deal.  I already accepted the position and I was to start work in 2 weeks.  I went back to my station and through the ridiculous ugly cry, I was somehow able to tell my crew the news before it traveled through the grapevine.  The next 2 weeks were terrible.  I couldn't believe I had resigned but God's plan is bigger than anything I was facing and I KNEW He had my back.

When I left Sun City West, I left the fire service completely.  I couldn't even look at my uniforms.  I didn't touch my equipment that still sat in the garage for Buckeye Valley Fire District nor was I interested in picking up any shifts as a reserve firefighter.  The new change hurt.  This went on for almost 9 months but like an addiction, the desire to work with patients came back just like it had never left.  I stopped focusing on what happened in SCW and focused on my new beginning.

I began looking at options for returning to school and after paying for one semester, I realized that I needed to get back into the medical field to keep up on my knowledge, and that I needed to find a job that had tuition reimbursement.  I put in for many hospital jobs but finally focused on Scottsdale Health care.  I have a network of friends who work there and they absolutely LOVE their jobs.  I want to LOVE my job again. 

Well, I was called in for an interview for the open Emergency Room Tech position.  She was concerned that I would get bored because I have spent almost 10 years as a paramedic and will not be able to use any of my skills there.  I told her at this point, I don't care where I worked, I just wanted to start over.  I have a new desire to go to school and I'll do anything in the time being.  During the interview she told me there was an open position in the ICU and she thought I would be a great candidate for it, she asked if it was something I'd be interested in.  I thought, "are you kidding me?!", and told her ABSOLUTELY!

Well, to make a short story longer, I just had my 3rd interview, this time it was with the Hospital Administrator and I was offered the job. 

Scottsdale Health Care Thompson Peak ICU, Here I Come!

ps... Thank you for giving a girl like me this opportunity and thank you in advance for the tuition reimbursement that I'm about to use!

YAY GOD!!!

Jeremiah 29:11

Monday, March 7, 2011

~You Will Never Walk Alone~

I was driving myself to work on Monday morning, lost in thought.  I found myself stressing and worrying about things that came up the week prior that are beyond my control.  Josh and I had a big day ahead of us.  One that would potentially show us what life will look like for the next 5-7 years.  The fear of the unknown began settling in and I couldn't help but remind myself that God has placed me through WAY bigger things than this, brought me through them and showed me the reasons why. 

Why would I EVER doubt Him?!?! 
(not that I am specifically doubting him; worrying is just as bad as doubting.)

I began to pray.

I prayed that God would see us through our struggles and that he would help me keep my focus on Him, not of this world.  I prayed that his will be done in our lives, no matter what.

After I prayed, I asked again for him to speak to me while I was turning on my radio and this is the song that came on.  The words of the song coming from the radio began to surround me...

~You Will Never Walk Alone~

Thank you, Jesus.