This weekend was a L-O-N-G one. I have no idea how to feel. I'm cautiously optimistic but I believe in my God and the fact that he is still in the healing business, a miracle maker, AND the ultimate physician. I've spent so much time reading threads of women who have posted their stories of early pregnancies. Of course, just like my Dr. said, the information points me in three different directions: ectopic, miscarriage, and normal pregnancies. Hopefully today I see a SKYROCKET of numbers.
aaaaand it was 660.
I had a conversation with my Dr. for almost half an hour as she told me the 'bad' news. I am tearful and hurt to say the least. Mostly, I am devastated. She also discussed with me that she wanted to run more blood tests on me to find out if I have a chromosome issue that is causing this, as well as a liver function panel, renal function panel, and a complete blood count to evaluate my candidacy for the Methotrexate shot. She explained to me that it works as a cancer drug that destroys 'abnormally fast growing cells' that would in turn cause me to miscarry. This news has me floored. I've done everything I could possibly do to become pregnant, telling me that I may have to end it for my safety is not setting well with me. I've never imagined this type of scenario playing out.
Josh had his paramedic refresher today and I told him the news while he was on his way home. At this point, we're feeling more like this pregnancy is doomed and have gone through many emotions. Tonight is an especially hard day for the both of us.
Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers.
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